the SOS jolter
Tactics, questions, and methods I use for getting re-focused when feeling lost, directionless, overwhelmed, or anxious
What's great about this?
Ask yourself the simple question: What’s great about this?
Quieting the loudmouth
When worried, or staying up at night with the same destructive thought or pattern, picture a committee of people sitting in your mind. Think of the doubt, or anxiety, or bad thought, as a committee member that keeps talking and talking, repeating their point over and over, and hogging the meeting. Now picture there are other committee members waiting to speak (people you respect, positive thoughts, etc.). These committee members represent the other thoughts, references, and generally good and more productive that are held in your mind, but are just being silenced at the moment by this loud committee member. Then take these steps:
- Deliberately thank the anxious committee member who’s been dominating the conversation. They could very well be brining up very valid points that you need to consider.
- Tell the committee member that you’ve heard from them, that they’ve made their points, but that their time to speak is over and it’s time to hear from other committee members.
- Start going around the table to hear other perspectives from other committee members. For instance, if Oprah, Tony Robbins, and/or Tim Ferriss were on the committee, what might they say? Keep going around the table to hear from others and get those different perspectives. You’ll draw strength and perspective from these other committee members, who are finally free to express themselves in this meeting.
"Good."
Simply saying “good” when things seem to be going wrong. You’re incredibly tired during the last mile of your distance run? Good. You’re building muscle memory, pushing yourself, and becoming stronger.
You lost your paddle in your canoe and need to figure out how to get to shore safely? Good. You’ll get to test your resiliency and survivor skills, and will have a story to tell.
I’m stuck at home a lot more than I’d like because of a pandemic? Good. I get to spend more time with my family, figure out ways to be much more efficient in my work, and I’ll have thoughts and ideas I never would’ve otherwise had. Good.
Inspired by Jocko Willink.
5 minute reset
Book of quotes
Every time you come across something inspirational, especially from someone courageous, save the quote or anecdote in a notebook (or evernote). Reach for this book when you’re feeling down.
Taking Action
This is the tougher one for me for some reason. Yet I always feel better when I do it.
Sometimes we’re overwhelmed and not sure which way to go or what to do. Pick something you think you’re interested in right now. It’s ok if this changes the following week. But pick something. And break down into a single action you can take that will move you closer to that goal or project.
Notice how you feel. That’s it.
Take your MEDS
Underlying all of this should be a healthy, productive lifestyle. While the above are focused on helping us in those SOS times when we need help immediately, in the medium and longer terms, we’ll have less of these episodes if we’re leading healither lives.
Have you been taking your MEDS? Meditation, Exercise, Diet (eating well), and Sleep (getting 7-8 hours a night) have been clinically proven again, and again, and again, to lead to happier, healthier lives. I’ve written more about this here (link)
What’s getting in your way? Is it mindless addiction (the new frontier of personal struggle)? Is it the news cycle (read more here). Something else?
Parameter lifestyle choices may help here. Minimize the things that are destructive, and slot in the things we scientifically know help us to live happier, healthier lives.
Final thoughts
Nothing works all the time. And different things may work better or worse for you in any given situation. But these have worked enough to make them worthwhile as a set of tools to use as a starting point when I hit a wall and am in SOS mode.